Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
