consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
