Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
