I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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