And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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