i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
