She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
