I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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