don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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