Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
