problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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