real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
