so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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