can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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