I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
