THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize