Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
