took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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