Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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