dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
