Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
