I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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