I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
