A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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