what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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