Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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