I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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