Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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