I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
