went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
