i just google imaged poop.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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