I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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