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Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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