STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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