i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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