To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
