She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
