tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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