Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Can I color on your dick again?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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