i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Buhtt sex?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
