apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
