I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
