Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Randomize
