I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
