I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
