You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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