I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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