He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
