i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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