There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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