EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
