you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
