Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
