I should be sponsored by Trojan
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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