so explain again why im purple
no
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
