I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
