im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
