Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
