i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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