I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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